Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Your stomach will have flowers sprout from the lining.

10:38 pm / my attic.

Tonight is the first of a series of twelve, whereupon I am being visited from across the countryside by my friends Julie Coffey, a model and somewhat of a snowstorm unto herself, and Sean Monistat, a musician and an oar to soothe such tempestuous waters.

You know what?

My favorite drink, I believe, since I can't afford to drink margaritas all day, is Sparks. But these people brought the green-bottled Mickey's into my household today. And I used to tend bar at a place in a Southeastern United State, and we did serve Mickey's, and I knew people would lose their minds on this drink, but it never occurred to me to try it myself. Because, maybe, it's a green-bottled drink, and most drinks in a green bottle are not worth paying for, nor are they suited for personally decent drinking even if they're offered to you for free.

Well, I just woke from a late afternoon nap after a five hour photography shoot and a quick dinner with Julie, and I woke up in a puddle of Sparks in my bed. Wet shirt, wet sheets, wet blanket, wet pants. I was covered in fucking Sparks.

Upon investigation by the local sheriff and a detective from the Precinct and some people with medical/law degrees, forensics analysis came up with these salient facts:

1. The table down in the kitchen presents five emptied 40 ounce bottles of Mickey's lined up, and the trash receptacle will offer you the remains of two Sparks and some other local energy drink with an eight percent alcohol level on the easy side of that.

2. I am wide awake.

So, you know, I fall asleep with a can or bottle of beer in my hand all the time. It's fairly natural for me, and a common end to nights. But I balance it pretty well in sleep, and I never have problems. I don't ever spill drinks in sleep. This drink Mickey's turned me inside the devil and out. Now I'm spilling drinks in my sleep. I love it.

I just put everything in the washer; Sean and Julie are asleep downstairs in the guest room at my house in Portland. I believe they are trying to keep a running blog of this week. So I'll have a link to it when I find out where in the Hell it's located, or if it's being done. It's going to be a really fun next eleven fucking days.

"Let's do this" / "see you in the pit" - Jason Hamacher.


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